Pour Your Misery Down
by Theoretical-Optimist
Summary: In the summer of 1996, Tonks is in love with Remus, but he continues to rebuff her feelings in favor of his own misery. Written for Round 1 of The Houses Competition (year two).


House: Gryffindor

Category: Short

Prompt: Rainstorm

Word Count (without AN, according to GoogleDocs): 633

Beta: Tigger

-AN Italicized dialogue is from Ch.5 An Excess of Phlegm in Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. I suggest listening to Only Happy When It Rains by Garbage while reading this.

* * *

" _I'd better be off,"_ Tonks declared. She needed to get away from the Burrow; to get away from Harry's inquisitive glance and Dumbledore's omniscient gaze. _"Thanks for the tea and sympathy, Molly."_ She brushed off Molly's invitation to join the Weasleys for dinner that weekend. It was just too much to see him again.

Desperate to escape, Tonks apparated back to her small cottage. She had lived alone since graduating from the Auror Academy two years before. She used to love her independence, but now things had changed. It saddened her that her once cozy home now felt so dark and empty.

Hearing thunder rolling in the distance, she hurried up the walk.

" _Homenum Revelio,"_ she cast out of habit; Mad-Eye had drilled constant vigilance into his protégé. Of course, now her house was protected under a Fidelius Charm, but a little extra caution was necessary for her peace of mind.

Tonks was shocked when her spell revealed the presence of another person. Just before she could go on the defensive, a voice called out into the dark night.

"Hello, Nymphadora."

Recognizing the voice immediately, Tonks growled, "I told you never to call me that." At that moment, a bolt of lightning illuminated her yard. She spotted the tired looking wizard sitting on her front steps. "What are you doing here, Remus?"

He stood and walked towards her. "Did you see Harry? Dumbledore sent me a Patronus to say that he arrived at the Burrow. I know you've been spending a lot of time there with Molly, so I hoped that maybe you'd seen him?"

Tonks nodded. "Yeah. He looked alright." A few droplets of rain hit her skin as she observed Remus. "Much better than you do at least."

Remus's eyes were sunken and his skin was so grey that one might have guessed that it was the day after a full moon rather than mid-cycle. She reached out to touch his face, but he ducked away.

"Thank you for letting me know about Harry. Without Sirius," Remus swallowed hard at the Order's new reality, "he's all I have left."

Tonks let out a frustrated scream. As though the heavens were tied directly to her emotions, the skies opened up and the pair was instantly soaked.

"Would you stop?!" Tonks shoved him. "You don't have to be alone. I could—"

"I've told you. This is the way it has to be. I'm no good for you. No good for anyone. I'm dangerous. My life is filled with nothing but misery and disappointment. You'd have no future with me. Why can't you understand that?"

"You live for your misery. You've wallowed in your self-pity and isolation for so long that you don't even know how to be loved. Well, it's not your choice to make, Remus. You don't get to decide what I feel."

He shook his head sadly. "Perhaps not. But you're young, and you'll love again. When this is all over, you'll find someone who truly deserves you. I want that for you."

"But you won't want it for yourself," Tonks whispered into the storm, so quiet she couldn't be sure if he heard. Louder, she ordered, "Just go, Remus. Harry is safe. Isn't that the whole reason you came here?"

"Yes." He nodded as though trying to convince himself that it was true. "Thank you. I'll see you at- well I'm not sure when..." he trailed off.

"Be well, Remus," Tonks said in dismissal. She tried to offer him a watery smile, but she knew that he could see straight into her heart.

"Goodnight." He paused as if to say something else, but instead turned away.

When she heard the telltale sound of disapparation, Tonks allowed her eyes to overflow with tears that blended into the rain pelting her face.


End file.
